Parenting Gone Wrong (A One Act Play)

AJ: Why are you so mad?
Me: The house is a mess.
AJ: Our house is not a mess. Have you seen Hoarders? We're fine. We don't have any bugs or poop on the floor.
Me: Um. . .  That can't be our standard.
AJ: Mom, our house is fine. The clutter is *not* that bad. Charlie and I play soccer down the hall all the time.

I Think I Threw Away The Letter of Authentication

Charlie: I want to sell my bike for $100. 

Me: Your bike isn't worth $100. 

Charlie: But I need$100.

Me: I don't even think we paid $100 for it when we bought it. You could probably sell it for $5. 

Charlie: But mom, it's an antique. 

Bear? Knife Fight? Saving A Small Child From A Javelina?

The scar is a bit larger than expected. Trying to come up with a better story than thyroid surgery. Now accepting suggestions.  :)

Sunflowers