FB

Facebook is a mixed blessing. I have honestly loved getting in touch with people I have not heard from in 10, 15 and even 20 years. It is comforting to see that the shy guy from college and the geek from high school (this one included) are happy and have come into their own.  And it is equally comforting to know that my instincts were right all along. I kept the right people around me and put the right fish back in the sea.  

In previous generations, people had to wait for the reunions to draw these conclusions. Not us. I can connect with anyone I have ever met in a matter of seconds. I can see pictures of their kids, random lists of their favorite things and catch glimpses of what makes up their everyday life. 

I recently got in contact again with two friends. One from college and one from my time in Minneapolis. One is waiting on a kidney and the other one just had a tumor removed from the base of her brain. I feel guilty that I did not know about either one. How could I have not known? How did that happen?

I feel very lucky in my life. Not only do I have good health, but so does my family. I have lifelong friends. I am still in contact with my roommate from college and my best friend from high school. I have wonderful friends that live nearby. There are probably 5 families in my neighborhood alone, who if we showed up at their door at 2 am, would take us in, or let us leave the kids, or feed us, or clothe us or just give us a hug. And we would do the same for them. 

And maybe that is why I am sitting here in tears. Because my friend from college and my friend from Minneapolis were both on that list at different times in my life. And at the time, I could never imagine it ever changing. 

But it does change. We move. We change careers. We get married. We get divorced. We have children. There are a million things and a million different factors that make up the current mosaic of our lives. There is no way that we could ever keep the same level of friendship with every single person we have ever met. It would be exhausting. So maybe it is important to remember that in matters like this, it is quality, not quantity that counts. 

My hope for my two friends is that they have a support network in place like I do. But just because they are no longer on my watch, does not mean I no longer care. And the beauty of FB is that now they can know that too.