One More Thing Off the Bucket List

The puke bucket, that is.

Today I walked into a classroom to give a lesson. The classroom was empty. The door was propped open with a chair. It caused me pause, but honestly, not for long. The teacher is reasonable. I figured she had her reasons.

So, I wait. I check my schedule. I wait. I check my schedule again. Soon, a little girl comes into the classroom and tells me the class is sitting in the hall. There was an accident. She said her teacher wanted her to come get me.

I walk to the hall and see the children sitting up against the wall and their teacher is reading a book to them. I wasn't sure what I was expecting. But, I guess I was thinking it would be a little more mayhem and a little less story time.

The teacher pulls me aside and tells me a student has had an accident in the classroom. The door was propped open to air the classroom out. Hmmm. It is obvious at this point, that I have not been teaching long enough to even fathom what type of accident would cause a teacher to clear out a second grade classroom, and then feel the need to air said classroom out. It didn't smell like vomit. And I am very sensitive to that smell. I can't eat swiss cheese because I think it smells like vomit.

So I advise her the classroom no longer smells, and I walk back into the room. The teacher, in a voice that I have never heard come from a human being, shrieks to me: " Stop! Don't move! Stop! Right! There!"

I stop. And soon I have a woman, who I have only known a month, kneeling behind me, wiping poop off the leg of my pants with a tissue and antibacterial soap. I have no idea how poop got on the door frame, or the chair, or whatever it was that I brushed against. Some things you are better off not knowing, even in school. And sometimes- especially in school.